I was in the desert tied to a tree. There was a man with a long robe and turban on.  He had a long beard and his eyes were black, like holes.

He was yelling at me telling me I have to do evil and bad things.  I kept saying that I didn’t want to. This continued and I was very distraught. Then he pulled two snakes out of his robe and started threatening me with them.  I felt hopeless and scared.

Then off in the distance, I saw you, Edward*, walking with another man. When the evil man saw you two he ran away. I managed then to break free and ran towards you desperately.

You looked at me and said, ‘Ali*, this is my friend; he will help and you will not have to do evil again, his name is Yesua!”

I then looked at his face and I will never forget it.           

For the third time in the last five months, Ali has dreamed about Jesus. Ever since Ali shared this dream with us recently, we cannot stop thinking about our Father’s great love.

He cared so much about our friend that He clearly revealed Himself to them. Thank you for praying.

At the same time, Ali and his wife are going through painful times with their family.  They are seeing the love of their families fading as they look for meaning in Jesus.

Pray that Ali and his wife will soon see that Jesus alone is worthy of their worship and that He will never forsake them.  Pray that He will become the reason for hope in their lives.

Most of us have heard since we were small children that God is Triune – Father, Son, and Spirit – and that Jesus was both fully God and fully man. But when we stop to think about it, it is something we can’t really bend our minds around – what do those words really mean?

Our Muslim neighbors certainly don’t understand it, and even when they understand what it is supposed to be about, they still think we are both crazy and guilty of terrible blasphemy. No one can even be associated with God or be a partner with Him, much less be both God and man, or be the Son of God. And if God hadn’t told us so explicitly, I would have agreed with them. Without information from God Himself about Who He is, their understanding makes much more sense to finite minds.

Just before Christmas, I was thinking about how Jesus must have looked to the religious Jews of His day. They knew how serious it was to worship false gods – Deuteronomy 13 makes it a capital offense for anyone, even a supposed prophet, to teach people to worship anyone other than the One True God. Isaiah 45 is emphatic that there really can be no other god beside YAHWEH. Yet Jesus claimed many times to be God Himself – for example, in John 10 and Matthew 26. It was beyond imagining that Jesus could possibly be telling the truth. So they very properly (in their minds) had Him put to death.

Of course, there is more to it than that. They were jealous of Him. They were blind to His miracles and deaf to His teaching. They didn’t recognize prophesy as Jesus fulfilled it. They didn’t begin to understand what God really demanded in the Law, or that the prophets taught that Messiah would come as our substitute to take the penalty for our sins.

But there is a sense in which they did what was correct, had their assumptions and understanding been true. Their point of view, their worldview, was wrong, so they reacted in the wrong way. And God, being just and perfectly good (no evil can enter His presence), will judge them for it unless they repent and come to Him for mercy through Jesus.

I think it is fair to say that all of us have a wrong point of view regarding certain things. And there are ways in which our views are based on guilty rebellion and intentional misunderstandings, just like the Jews of Jesus’ day. These wrong views lead us to very understandable but nonetheless incorrect decisions about important things. I pray that everyone reading this has submitted to Jesus and is following Him – the most important decision we make in this life.

How can we have correct views of things, so that we make correct decisions? In John 14:6 we see Jesus is the Truth, and in Revelation 1:5, He is called the Faithful Witness. God raised Jesus from the dead as confirmation of all that He had said and done. Otherwise Jesus would have been proven to be the blasphemer that the Pharisees and Sadducees thought He was. We must study the Bible and seek to understand and follow, and trust that God will lead us into all truth. God uses His Word to correct us and train us (2 Timothy 3:16-17, Hebrews 4:12).

But we are surrounded by those who do not follow Jesus. There are two common ways. Some follow the example western nations have given – life consists in the abundance of our possessions (but see Luke 12:15). These pursue their career above all else, and if they do well enough, enjoy the good life that financial success can bring. They may give lip service to their religious duties, but they are not faithful in their outward practice, nor do they cultivate the attitudes of the heart which are expected to accompany it. Jesus is just as irrelevant to them as their own religion.

Devout Muslims, on the other hand, are committed to what their prophet taught. They reject both Jesus (as He really is) and His Word. According to their point of view, Jesus was a mere prophet, and claimed nothing about being God. They don’t think He even died, much less walked out of the tomb three days later. And even though they give Jesus the name of prophet and Messiah, they won’t read the Bible, for they claim it was corrupted long ago (at times and by people unknown). Their mistaken point of view will have terrible consequences, and nothing short of God’s intervention can open their eyes.

We pray to be used in this process, but can get discouraged by the difficulties we face. What can we say, to whom, and how, so that they may look at things they have “known” a new way? What can persuade them to look past the idols of materialism and success? How can their confidence in a foundation of sand be shaken enough for them to look to Jesus, the only Rock upon whom we can safely build our lives? It is a huge thing to admit that one has clung to something false all one’s life – our capacity for pride is larger than we often suspect.

But fear of offending family is an obstacle as well. Can you imagine the reaction your family and friends would have if you told them you were going to renounce Jesus and become a Muslim? Cultural ties to Islam are even stronger than what we face. Family and community would oppose anyone who renounces Islam and starts to follow Christ. It is not unusual for someone to be expelled from their home, beaten, fired from their job, and in some cases imprisoned or killed.

Pray that God will draw Muslim people to Himself and give us wisdom as we sow seeds of the Gospel. May some of those seeds fall on fertile soil and produce fruit that will last in their lives and in the lives of their friends, families, and fellow countrymen. Thanks for praying.

The city was cold and grey. The battered buildings tenuously stood with chunks of concrete torn away and windows broken out. Adding to the bleakness of the landscape were makeshift shelters and tents that dotted open spaces.

A sagging tent in the parking lot of the city’s cultural center would be my home for the few days I was in Van. I was a guest of my brother Hasan*.

The word “brother” has been cheapened with casual use. However, brother is the only word that describes Hasan. Not “bro,” or “brah,” he is my brother with whom I laugh, cry and usually learn something about faith.

My big brother has had his share of personal disasters and the earthquakes of Van, Turkey in 2011 were just the latest. He fled Iran full of desperation and empty of hope. He found hope in the words and actions of a Christian worker in eastern Turkey and ultimately became a faithful follower of Jesus Christ.

That decision has given my brother a life of trouble. He told me, “Ever since I decided to follow Jesus, my life has become so painful and difficult.” He paused for a moment and continued, “But I wouldn’t change a thing… I would do the same thing ten thousand times.”

He went from being a respected and high-ranking military officer to a poor, faithful servant for the cause of Christ. I was looking forward to spending some time with my big brother; I wasn’t expecting to meet my little brother, Ebrahim*.

Hasan recently became the father figure of a young Afghan refugee. In the days following the earthquakes, he spent his time with his eyes half closed from exhaustion. That fatigue did not blind him to the needs of the refugees living in tents around the city of Van.

My big brother came to Van in January, expecting to stay two weeks and then going onto America to begin a new life. Inexplicably, he was denied entry into America—that rejection was devastating and as days stretched into months he began to despair.

“I began questioning God, asking, ‘What are you doing to me?’” He now says that he understands, “God had a purpose for me.”

That purpose was to help the refugees in the aftermath of the Van earthquakes. Along with a 19 year old Afghan refugee he trudged the cold streets of the city and sought out the vulnerable refugees from Afghanistan and Iran.

Zendeh (Living) Church will launch its first public worship service on Sunday, March 11. We have been blessed with a local Chinese church that is partnering with us to use their building. Pray for a great launch after meeting in homes for the last 5 months. Also pray for the new Iranian community centre that will open on March 6th as an outreach arm of the church. It will be called the “Life Community Centre” and “Kanoone Zendegi”.

With more than 60,000 Iranians, Afghanis, Kurds, and Tajiks in this gateway North American city, we see the centre as a safe place for all to come for English conversation groups and special cultural events that tie this community together. May it be a place to make good friends and hear about and experience the good news of Jesus.

We are so thankful to God for providing us a place for worship at no cost to us. Actually what God provided us is a great mission-minded Chinese church that wants to begin to reach out to the unreached peoples in our city. We are overwhelmed with the place we have been lead to for our new community centre that will be open Tuesday through Saturday. God has given us a great team to begin this work together. Pray for the team as they follow His leading.

Denial was not an option since the tripwire had been activated.  I swallowed hard and replied with an insincere and stale, “Of course.”  The double barreled question pointed at me was, “Don’t you love the people; don’t you just want to hug and kiss them?”

While my two-word answer had all the sincerity of an election year promise, there were honest answers clawing at the cage door of my mind.  The one answer that nearly escaped was, “Yes… as long as I’m wearing a full hazmat suit and isotope gloves.”

The People had haunted me from the very first time I had met with other soon to be missionaries.  Sitting in a room full of missionary candidates, I listened as each person declared his eternal and peerless love for the people to whom God had called them.

One man emphatically pledged to help the people of Tambago learn about Jesus.  I am not sure where the Tambagostani people live—possibly in Middle Earth?  In whatever corner of Tambago people reside, I’m fairly certain that they have heard the gospel from this zealous man.

One woman was near tears as she confessed that she couldn’t sleep because the people… the lost people were dying and going to hell.

In that moment, all of my doubts and failings coalesced into a massive inadequacy that surely disqualified me for cross-cultural ministry… I didn’t lose sleep over the salvation of the people.  I didn’t have a burden for the lost.  I did, however, have a staggering burden of guilt.

I prayed desperately for my stone-like heart to soften enough to soak in the urgent need for the people to meet Christ.  I tried to fabricate a genuine concern for the lost.  The people of Tambago needed me!

In addition to everything else, I was losing sleep… just not over the people.  It slowly dawned on me that the issue keeping me awake was my obedience to God.  I further realized that I could never have the capacity to love people the way God does.  In fact, my calling to missions is being obedient to God above anything else… even the people.

That revelation was liberating.  I no longer felt the pressure to unconditionally love people who leered at my wife or shoved my kids.  Jesus did the heavy lifting and all I needed to do was to follow orders.

Sometimes we on the field use the people as a leverage of guilt.  We use phrases like, “If you don’t go and tell the people of Tambago, who will?”  The only response to that questions is, “Those who are called to do so.”  The fact is anyone can do what I do, but that doesn’t mean they should.

Somewhere along the way we forgot the simple, but priceless lesson of Gideon’s Army.  God’s ministry isn’t carried out by the biggest and baddest mission agency—it’s done through the chosen ones.

Before I learned about my misplaced burden of responsibility, I considered walking away from missions.  I shudder thinking about every thing I would have missed in Central Asia.

However, these days I realize that the most important location for me is where I am in God’s will—I have to remain within earshot.  While I’ve been close enough to God to hear Him, I have had my heart both flooded with love and broken with sorrow by the people.  It is in this place where I have actually loved and hugged the people, while fighting the urge to strangle a few.

I have said goodbye to hundreds of friends and with each departure I wonder when my time will come.  Until then, I will remain gratefully chosen to be in Central Asia… in Tambagostan.

My much younger self thought, “Piece of cake; I love my siblings and parents.”  A year and a half after arriving on the field I realized that the old man meant the Manson family.  We are a quirky, stubborn lot and not always easy to live with.

A short time later, I strolled out to the jungle and fell to the ground with the weight of my conflict on me.  I cried out to God about how difficult my fellow missionaries were making my life.  I know, I was a drama queen and fairly stupid because there could have been snakes or warthogs out there (actual snakes, not my co-workers).

I would never do such a thing again.  Partly because of my arthritic hip, but mostly because I now know that God has His eye and hand on those of us who are called. I am not proud of my embellished show of emotion, but it was my first lesson in answering God’s call on my life.

When I answered the call to go overseas to minister I was prepared to battle all kinds of opposition… religious fanatics, militants and Satan himself.  I was wearing the full armor of God and armed with God’s word that I had gleaned from Sunday school and seminary.  Despite all those “weapons” I was ready to turn away from God’s calling because of minor disagreements.

I had not counted on my fellow missionaries being as petty and small minded as I am.  Conflict within the “family” is the collective elephant in the room. It is a wounded, rogue elephant not the comical, domesticated one at the circus.

Several years after my jungle experience, I had to face down the elephant and found a hideous version of myself that I often regret meeting.

A dear friend and coworker looked me in the eye and asked me to forgive him.  Not aware of any problems between us, I casually said, “Of course.”

Then came the confession, “Ever since I met you I have done and said things to destroy your reputation, your ministry and your family.”

My mind was reeling and I was dumbstruck.  I asked why, knowing that no answer from my friend would bring sincere forgiveness from me.  I left that meeting scouring my mind for what I had done to my friend.  I found nothing.

I trusted him and in turn was wronged.  In the months that followed I ignored love and comfort and craved revenge.  The betrayal was a wound that I further infected with contempt and self-pity.  I withdrew from my missionary family and trusted no one.  My joy evaporated. I was left with the unsatisfying knowledge that I had done nothing wrong—I was right.

Another friend who knew what had happened asked me, “What has this done to your relationship with God?”  I flippantly answered, “My relationship with God is fine… my relationship with God’s people has taken a serious hit.”

I had lied to my friend because I was estranged from God and occupied a space away from my own family.  The event and my subsequent unforgiving spirit took its toll on me both spiritually and physically.  Eventually, I simply became a carrier of the poison, distrust.  It became walled away inside of me like a dormant disease.

I didn’t like anything those days, least of all, myself.  One day, I realized that I completely missed the lesson because I was too self-absorbed.  God had protected me through it all.  I was clueless about what was happening, but God wasn’t and He was looking out for me.

I took stock of my life and found that I had a lot to be grateful for, especially a loving, protective God who graciously allows me to serve Him overseas.

Being right is a cheap substitute for doing the right thing and I finally and genuinely forgave my friend.  It wasn’t that cut and dried because the whole experience was like radical surgery to my spirit.  I truly love him, but companionship was amputated in the process.

These days I embrace my friend with one arm.  Meanwhile, God unconditionally embraces both of us with His strong, loving arms.

Pray for C, who is answering in faith God’s call to reach Muslims inside Iran. C risks his family and his freedom by meeting and teaching Muslims in his hometown. Pray that he will be protected from the evil one, and that many will come to know Christ through C’s ministry.